I'm broke, got not money. Well, I'm not broke, I just don’t have any money.
How many girls you fucked? Asked the five foot man sitting opposite me.
I dunno, a million. You?
None, what's is like?
What?
fucking.
sex is a three letter word for a million different things.
So?
It can be great. Not much better actually, when you are both there together. Its presence. All of it comes together, your animal and your soul.
I am going to pay for it. To get my first one. Is that okay you think?
Probably not.
Why, who was your first?
My first girlfriend. Well, not first, but you know, you don’t count the younger shit.
Were you in love?
I love any girl who loves me. We tried for about four months and couldn’t work it out. One time I thought we were doing it and I was about to finish and I pissed into the condom.
How did you get it to work?
You aren’t touching yourself over there are you chihuahua?
Not yet.
*laughter*
We were in the water and I had an ant eaters nose in my pants and it was hungry.
For ants?
For the door I had access too but couldn’t figure out the handle
You speak in riddles all the time?
I was trying to put my fat cock in her tight vagina.
Ok.
And in the water, bang, it went in, I was in, I was a man.
Do you become a man when you lose your virginity?
Depends which one. Pussy virginity, well, yeah, it gives you a sense of ease, one less thing to worry about. Like learning how to drive stick. Liking beer. Speaking Spanish.
You cant speak Spanish or drive stick though?
When I am drunk I can do everything.
I am going to pay for it, tonight, get myself a supermodel in lingerie, maybe I will get two, or three, and I will fuck all of them for hours on end.
How much money you got?
25 euros. Why, how much do they cost?
Dunno. Imagine more than that.
You never paid?
Twice, but in Australia.
Why?
Because that’s where I was.
No, why did you pay?
Curiosity the first time. Didn’t like it.
The second?
Had to make sure.
Why didn’t you like it?
Same reason I cant work for anyone.
What?
Just cant fake it.
What?
Anything. You see I have found my purpose, my path, and that is to write. People judge me for not believing in things they don’t believe themselves. Why I hate fancy restaurants chihuahua, why are we all pretending?
Good food and good wine is good I reckon.
Yeah, it is, that’s the point, no need for all the theatrics around it, it is weird.
Normal for some.
Yeah, the some who think I'm crazy.
So I shouldn’t pay?
No. Go out there and earn it. You got to make the cock energise good actions. You got to harness all the motivation of pursuing a cheap desire to put you places that are good for you. Go on a date. Have a conversation, who knows you might like it.
A conversation with a woman?
Yeah.
Enjoy it?
*Laughter*
Problem I have is this. I watched too much porn. So I fuck like a champ. But I fuck chicks who don’t watch porn, and they fuck boring, pleasantly. There is no pressure on the average woman to fuck like a professional. I mean, to really rattle your cage!
Sounds like you want to fuck a bloke.
I am not going to fuck you chihuahua.
Not even to get me off the mark?
How many euros you say you had?
25
You buy me a six pack and ill think about it.
How is your writing going?
You never know.
You writing?
Yeah.
That’s enough isn’t it?
You never know. But yeah, something is going on. You?
I have started to write poetry, can I read you one.
Send it to me and ill read it when the time is right. We owe the word that.
No, please, its better if I read it.
It isn’t. I know my brain.
Trust me.
I do.
Ok, here it is.
mercy
surrender like the frogs
purple suggestions from green
nature rotates and grinds
You listening?
I am trying. Something about the French and about gardens.
It is about sexual desire.
Ok.
Hand thy the rose
Blood of the thorn
Pool of hope
The Pupil
The black hole
You understanding?
No idea what you're on about.
Rose is the vagina, the thorn is the rejection, The pool of hope is the blood from holding on too tight. Pupil, like student. Then blackhole because the pupi---
I’ll be honest. This right now is my idea of torture. Ill fuck you just to change the subject.
Please let me finish.
Is that a sex joke?
What?
Go on then!
If I could change the wrinkles of your palm
id lead you to my faith
If I could walk a mile in your shoes
Id leave them at my doorstep
For when you come to retrieve
ill tell you all about you
That was actually kind of nice. Weird, but nice.
Thanks. There's more.
No doubt.
If it is all temporary
so is that truth
as the currents change
as the universe expands
as the rivers slow
as the mountains fall
as the men cry
as the women die
as the stone becomes sand
as the rain drop a tear
If it is all temporary
Then so is my virginity.
What do you think?
All that is about you not getting a fuck?
Sexual desire.
It would probably work you know.
What?
It would probably get you some dumb old bitch.
You think so.
You never know.
What happened to your hand?
Missed the nail.
When you're at work do you ever think about what it would be like to have super powers. Like if Thor was a carpenter, how easily he could nail things in. Or if you could fly, you would never need a ladder. Or if you had super strength you could just lift things and you wouldn’t need a forklift?
Yes.
Do you have any poems?
I don’t want to do that right now.
Cmon, the sun is out, music is playing, beer in hand, joint in the other. What better time for a bit of poetry?
Pretty much every other. This is good. It doesn’t need scribble.
You have to be kind to the poems. You cant just use them when you need them and give nothing back when the time is nice.
The time is nice because of poetry.
The time just is.
True.
What do you think poetry is?
Mate, fuck, no.
Please.
*looks around to make sure no one is listening*
Poetry are the words the boy in the corner says to the wall.
Wow. Powerful. You want to know what I think?
No.
I think poetry is the sword of the common man.
Bullshit.
Why?
The common mans main concern is efficiency. The efficiency of the progress to a place they have created in their head that shares the false notion of heaven. A place with no bad thoughts or feelings. A place curated by the human brain. A fantasy. The common man is always between a place he had to be and a place he has to be.
So?
Well, there's nothing efficient about a poem. Just some words. Passing cars beeping the horn.
So why do you write poems?
A rebellion to heaven.
Heaven?
Yeah, their heaven. I'm saying its here. This is it. You made it. Enjoy it. It has everything you ever wished for.
Fuck I'm horny.
My philosophies have always had that effect.
What?
Nothing.
Can you read a poem?
No.
I will buy you a six pack if you do.
Alright.
I kill what is dying
to save us the pain
they call me a murderer
I believe them
it all just falls thanks to newton
thanks to the watchtower
thanks to tomorrow
thanks to the saints who were too scared to sing
you are my best friend page
you are my best friend
what can I give you back
for holding all these
silly thoughts?
what can I give you for being you?
Maybe you are like the worm,
who tastes everything it touches,
that touches it
my final thank
you will be
my love riddled flesh
You miss your dog?
I'm just glad I didn’t miss him.
Alright. I'm going to get a fuck.
Don’t forget the six pack
Your six pack sir.
Cheers.
You are probably noticing the big smile on my face?
Yeah, get a fuck?
Yep.
And enough money left over to buy beers?
Didn’t cost a cent.
Doesn’t sound like good business.
I spoke to the girl at the supermarket. She asked why I was buying beers and I told her I am going home to drink them, listen to piano and write poetry. She asked if she could join. I read her some of your stuff, sorry, didn’t think you would mind. I said it was mine. She liked it. There was the one you wrote about sex. Licking asshole whilst massaging the clit until she squirts in your mouth. You remember that one?
I remember her, yes.
And she asked me to do it to her. Had no idea what I was doing but just followed your blue print. Tongue on ass. Finger on clit. Other hand on the nipple. But had one problem.
What?
No idea where the clit is. Its on top of the hole isn’t it?
Depends how you have her. But yeah, on top, like a boil.
Yes, I remember you writing that. So just massaged that softly. Meant to be soft isn’t it?
It can be shy to begin.
So I did it. She had an orgasm and everything. Then the pressure was off. I was in there. I'm a fucking man. I got us some cigars too. You want a cigar?
Well, this is a celebration. How do you feel?
Like a fucking man! Felt like bob Dylan When he plays guitar and harmonica at the same time.
Knocking on heavens door.
We have to play that, we have to!
Yep.
I walked her back to the supermarket and she gave me these for free.
It tastes like freedom.
I can still taste ass on my lips. That taste like freedom!
Depends who’s ass it is.
You are a funny cunt once you realise you aren’t angry.
Thanks. You are a good bloke Chihuahua. It has been a great Saturday.
You check the quaddie?
Nope.
If we have won the quaddie today I'm going to believe in god.
We didn’t.
Ah well. Sorry god.
