Dear Soul,
I write to you in a dark room. My brain hurts. I feel like you hurt, I feel like I am hurting you. Recently a thought occurred that makes my forehead and ears hot with guilt. You are me in the spirit realm. Therefore, possibly, I am your soul.
I want to say sorry.
I was under the impression you knew all. To be honest, a part of me despised you. One main reason was that you were all the good in me and I am nothing but the leftover bad.
I picture the spirit world to look like the night sky above the pacific ocean a million miles from our fabricated lights. I imagine it to be free flowing. But I also imagine it to be scary like here. With all we know the lessons still come.
Recently I have lost a lot as a result of my actions and as what is real refuses to fall away I can only be grateful for this pain. I am tired of only learning from pain and as you deal with dragons and wizards, and blue girls with green hair I want to be a better friend, a better partner. I want some lessons to stick.
‘I want’ – A scary duo of words. But I would enjoy us dancing together. You are my pen pal. I wish you could speak to me with less ambiguity. I wish my drawings could talk. Their eyes watch me with so much to say, but there lips stay still.
I do suffer but I don’t feel lonely because I can see you everywhere.
Do you like me?
Forgive me?
We both know there is no going back and all the vices that helped set us free from the invisible chains we can now say thank you, and set them free.
I want to remember my dreams. I want you to show me what pain is repeating.
It really is beautiful here; colour, intelligence in water, soil, fire and wind.
I think it is time I took some responsibility. If I promise you that I fear the pain when I fail. Let there be grace in my efforts, let them be protected and filled with love.
I hope you are doing well out there soul, if not, then that is okay. I am here for you, with all my flaws, with all of me.
I will see you in my dreams.
Love forever,
Riley William Dyson.
Ps. Should we grow a really long beard?
Here is a photo of us
